As I have done in the past here on my blog, and as I have promised to do..  I again am happy to share an article from the Harald Read Newspaper from my buddy Chuck who co-stars in my play,”Toe Roaster”.  For those of that have not seen him in the show.. well, Hamlet (his best friend in the show) puts it best, “He’s got all his tater’s, but half of ‘em’s mashed”.
So, here is Chuck’s latest article enjoy!
–   Bryan

“Fish for Fish, Deer for Deer”
I had just arrived back into town from a deering trip with some of the guys down at the barber shop and the pool hall.  This was not a big deering trip, it was just a small deering trip. Hold on, hold on, wait.. Excuse me, I must explain something. See I’m sitting here with a lady friend, let’s just call her.. “OUCH”..well, she just smacked me.. so.. never mind her name, cause I now know she don’t want it printed. Anyway, she, my nameless lady friend, has informed me that my use of the phrase a ‘deering trip’ is not acceptable. Oh, she’s fine with the ‘trip’ part, but not the ‘deering’ part?  She says there is no such thing as ‘deering’!  Well, when I write these articles I put a whole lot of thought into them, and I would never write something that wasn’t true or at least wasn’t a really funny lie!  And when you read these articles you cannot tell how long they took me to write, OR how long I took from one word to the next.  Well, just know that from the time I first mentioned the word ‘deering’ to now…. it’s been about one hour of arguing!
I have tried to explain to my nameless lady friend here that a deering trip is a very real thing!  I also have been trying to explain to her that a turkeying trip, a coyoteing trip, a ducking trip, qualing trip and on and on are all trips I have gone on. She just sits here and looks at me.. like right now.. this look she’s giving me is like I have a chicken with its head cut off, or I have a deer in your tail lights.  Crazy.
She’s telling me that I am going on hunting trips!  And I’m telling her that people that call them that ain’t being correct!  I’ll explain; For example, when Big Daddy calls me and Hamlet up to go out on his ‘fishing’ boat, we take our fishing poles, and our worms with us cause we are going out there for the sole purpose of bringing back some fish! And, he always says we’re goin’ fishing’.  Heck, everybody says that’s ‘fishing’. And what do we fish for? FISH, right?  You bet. Well, when I get called to get my gun and go out into the woods to bring back a deer, I don’t see why that ain’t called deering!  If we fish for fish.. stands to reason we would deer for deer, right?  And, that would be called ‘deering’.
Once again those that remain nameless here by my side have a lot to learn from ol’ Chuck.  Maybe a little more time around the Toe Roaster is what she needs.
Now I am off subject.  Women do that to me! Well, sorry but I better stick this in the envelope and get it to Pokey, (that’s the Post Man) so he can take it up to The Harald before this nameless gal here calls her mother. (her mom has something to do with the game warden.. I don’t want to give her identity away, but her husband tends to look down upon those that know more than he does.  Just cause you got a degree in leaf identification and tree stuff.. not to mention a cool green 4×4 truck). Well … that don’t mean you know everything. I mean look at what all I don’t know and I ain’t never been to college!
I got like I am cause my mom never put me down.  She use to tell me, “Everybody can’t be you Chuck”, and then she would say, “and I’m not even sure you can”?  See, I know I’m special. I’ll have to tell you about our ‘Deering’ trip another time.
World Peace
— Chuck      from Toe Roaster

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 21st, 2010 at 5:19 am and is filed under The Harald Read. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.